Sunday, March 31, 2013

Why don't stores sell dairy free Easter Chocolate?!!

So, in the mad dash that is life with allergies, we had to think fast this year, as our first year with a 4 year old with a Dairy Intolerance.  We thought about saying "screw it" and letting her have the chocolate for the one day, but we dreaded the horrid bum rash and tummy aches that come along with it...never mind the months after of "but you let me have the Easter Bunny Stuff?!!"

Make our own Easter Chocolates. problem.  we'll add that in to the Saturday evening schedule of get kids to bed at reasonable time, tidy house, ensure kids are good and asleep, crochet, sew, tuck child one or two back into bed quickly before they peek down to the kitchen, fill plastic Easter Eggs, hide them around the house or yard......oh, yeah, and sleep....sweet sleep, oh how I miss thee....

hard boiled coloured eggs..
At this point, I may mention that all of this Easter stuff is still relatively new to me.  I grew up Jewish, and still identify as Jewish by Culture, if not by religious belief....So I'm still sorta confused as to what a bunny poopin' out brightly coloured plastic eggs filled with chocolate have to do with the long-haired guy rising from the dead all those years ago....(I was jokingly referring to this Holiday as the celebration of the partner was NOT amused....and even 8 year old D rolled her eyes at me...)

Anyhow, back to the point of the matter.  For the last 2 days B has had a fever of Near Biblical Proportions (ya see what I did there?!  huh? did ya?!!)  and has been wandering around like a Zombie (thats TWO - I'm on a ROLL), when not whimpering in misery on the couch......And we went to the big family Easter Gathering on Good Friday - a 2 hour drive to my sister-in-law's, 5 hours of enjoyment, hard boiled egg decorating, and a WONDERFUL, if not overly Kosher, Ham Dinner....We got home at half-past stupid o'clock, threw our barely-asleep progeny in bed fully clothed, and passed out for the night.  So when did we get to make these chocolates?  Right now.  Saturday night, 10:15 pm, and we're filling the pastel coloured plastic egg-shaped bunny poops with home-made, dairy free chocolate bunnies, chicks, and carrots....
the wrapping of the minis
melted dairy-free belgian chocolate...

But the thing I'm super impressed with?  Not the basic melting, pouring, and wrapping of the mini-chocolates for our brood to find tomorrow morning and devour for breakfast (one of 3 times a year this gets to happen)...But the Biggies.  The Full-sized Easter Bunny filled with peanut-butter filling,  and the HUGE half-eggs filled with home-made Marshmallow Fluff.  It's amazing what you can find on Pinterest and Google.  You never need to know how to do anything anymore!  here's the peanut butter filling we made for the big bunny.....recipe from the 2sisters2cities website, via Pinterest.....and here's the marshmallow fluff filling we used for the big half-eggs....okay, it's more of a guideline than a recipe...  I've never done these before, and was shocked by how easy they were.  The clean-up, mind you....I was happy to leave that to I had a cat to bathe.....and a 4.5 year old to tuck back into bed....again....
The coolest thing about the need to create dairy-free chocolate, is that we're actually getting super yummy chocolates this year..
Moving molten chocolate around the bunny mold.

and we made them ourselves!!!  Okay, well, maybe we didn't make the chocolate part.  Bulk Barn provided those for a bit of a fee.  But you get the idea.

some of the little guys all wrapped up
marshmallow fluff filled half-eggs
Peanut butter filling.  yummier than Reese's
The bunny brought by The Bunny - all full of peanutty goodness!!!

In the end, I have to admit it was fun...but next year we may have to search harder for a dairy free pre-made set up.  I was too paranoid that the kids would wake up and discover who the REAL Easter Bunny is!

I'm so not looking forward to figuring out Hallowe'en.......

Thursday, March 28, 2013

Thank GOD I'm CrAzY!!!?!

So there's something to be said about being a little loopy.  Whether or not the loopy came before the kids is a debate for another day, but it's a useful tool in the day to day world of parenting, let me tell you... 
here's my favourite parenting tool, The Voices In My Head
These are perfect for maintaining an exterior of calm, while inwardly screaming at kid top volume.  As we see in this dialogue:

Outside Voice, the one the kid hears - "Did you just turn on my sewing machine again?"

kid - "yup"

Inside Voice, the one screaming in my head - "G-D many TIMES do I have to tell you to leave my REALLYEXPENSIVEMACHINE ALONE!!!"

Outside Voice- "You know I don't think it is safe for you to play with my sewing machine without me, right?"

kid - "Yup.."

Inside Voice- "GRRRRRRR..."

Outside Voice- "What made you think it was a good idea to use my machine without me?"

kid - "cuz I wanted to....."

Inside Voice- "OMG if I did everything I fricken' wanted to just cuz I wanted to....and you should KNOW BETTER, I ONLY TOLD YOU THIS 3 FRICKEN" MINUTES AGO!!!!!"

Outside Voice- "I love that you have good ideas in your head that you want to explore.  I love that you wanted to make something all-by-yourself..I just don't like that you aren't listening when I'm trying to keep you safe, so now we have to leave the sewing room, and we can't finish the project that we were working on together."



Outside Voice- "I hear that you are upset by this change in events....but it isn't safe to have a person who is having troubles listening in the sewing room - we could get hurt, so out we go..."

kid -"I love you mommy, we will sew later?!"

Inside Voice- "Not if I have anything to say about it, that's MY sanctuary, and you will stay the hell away!"

Outside Voice- "We will discuss that later after your bath."

.................etc nauseum.......
"Completely convinced that each white hair is one inside voice dialogue leaking out my skull...."

Saturday, March 23, 2013

Here's my letter to my local MPP...I mentioned I'd post it...

So here it is, in all it's glory.... I am leaving out names, just to be fair... I realize it may be hard to follow, and I'm sorry about that.  I am leaving it as is, just because I don't have the energy to change it right now.  but feel free to ask questions, make positive suggestions in the comments section....

Thank you for speaking to me on the phone yesterday about my daughter.  Just to recap, we were talking about the failure of the early intervention mental health system in Guelph to support my daughter, B, in receiving the help she needs in the evaluation, assessment, and treatment of her Sensory Processing Disorder.  We started to look for intervention for B when she was less than 2 years old, as her behaviours and coping mechanisms did not seem to fit with the "norm" for her age.  We started by calling the Growing Great Kids Program - run by public health - and had E assigned to us as our public health nurse.  She made 2 visits and received 3 of my phone calls over an 18 month-ish period, but did not recommend or initiate any sort of screening or assessment for her, despite her witnessing a few extreme behaviours.  She stated that B was Highly Spirited, and that made her intense, but she was "normal".  At about 3 years old I started advocating for speech therapy for B, as at the time she had some language barriers for her age, as well as difficulties in pronouncing certain sounds in her mouth.  We were referred, at my insistance, and the recommendation of E, to Wee talk, assessed after over 3 months of waiting, and sent home with a "home program"  to help me teach her to do her "L" sound (something that wasn't an issue yet due to her age).  Despite me insisting that she would not benefit from a home program, and despite E's recommendation to speech therapy with a therapist rather than at home, that was the assignment, and we tried to follow the program at home.  As expected, this was unsuccessful, as her frustrations led her to rip up colouring and other "assignments", and otherwise react negatively to attempts to "train" her to pronounce a letter that she was not developmentally ready for.  In this time we saw E again, and I had at least one very frustrated and desperate phone conversation - where E agreed that it seemed that B may have issues with Self-Regulation, but still, she didn't have an assessment done or scheduled.  She discussed at this point the city's Early years mental health program, and put us on the waiting list for that.  I asked if there were any programs/support for parents dealing with similar issues, and she recommended me waiting until B had been assessed at the early years mental health program, and then asking for support through B's worker.  She insisted that it would be the fastest way for me to get the support I needed. Three months later we went to her follow up wee talk appointment, and explained her lack of progress and frustration with the program.  We were then referred, by K at Wee Talk, to a speech therapist at St. Joe's, and waited 3 more months to see her.  Within ONE visit with M at Wee Talk, it was determined by the speech therapist that B was in desperate need of Occupational Therapy, and M made the referral within 1 week.  B was not yet 4 at this time.  It was also determined that B's speech issues were not something that could be treated with speech therapy at this time, as the problem was the physical formation of her palate, which would not be corrected until she was much older, either naturally or with orthodontic/surgical assistance.  We were then told by M that the waiting list for OT through Kidsability was very long, and should we want service sooner, we should pay for private OT assessment through a local private clinic here in Guelph. 
Concurrently, we began assessment/treatment with early mental health program, seeing E.  The written evaluation/assessment showed that she was medium/high risk in her behaviours, no discussion as to the root cause of these behaviours, and after 2 sessions spanning 3 weeks, we were told that we qualified for their services.  We attended 4 sessions with E, where she focused on my interactions with B, and behavioural modification techniques (such as visual reminders of how to behave, games to play to help us express and recognize emotions).  B found the activities fun, but they were not very beneficial to our situation, as we had already been implementing more effective techniques in our home for managing those behaviours. Seeing little benefit to this treatment, we finally decided to follow the advice of the speech therapist and seek private OT assessment, as it was now November 2012, and B was already 4 years old. We paid $200 to have an assessment done by N, the private OT.  It was determined that there were several sensory impairments, as well as self-regulation issues as a result of Sensory Processing Disorder.  A copy of that assessment can be provided at your request.  It was determined that much more assessment was necessary to fully understand the depth of her issues, but as they saw that we were instinctively adept at providing a lot of the care she needed, and as they were aware of our financial limitations, they instead recommended a series of books related to sensory processing disorder, and advised us to create a "sensory diet" for her based on the books - this is a practice usually put into play by an Occupational Therapist, but they didn't offer us this service, as we were limited financially, and weren't sure if we could continue paying the $125 per hour to receive treatment and support from them.  At this time, dealing with my daughters' disorder, a system that wasn't helping, and just needing support, I asked E at the early mental health clinic, over the phone, if there was any sort of parent support group - to help me cope with dealing with the day to day of our existence and B's disorder's impact on me and my family.  E signed me up for her workshop "circle of security", which while interesting, did not in any way address my issues, or meet the needs I requested.  I called her after the first week of this program to set up my next appointment with her and my daughter, and she told me that she didn't need to see us while I was doing the circle of security program, thereby ending ANY treatment that B was receiving.  The circle of security group happened to have two sessions that fell over March Break, and we were away for those two weeks and the week before that, after a whole night awake with B, I had missed 3 sessions of the group.  I recognized that I could not finish the group as I had missed too many, and asked about rescheduling the private sessions with her and B, mostly to maintain some continuity in care for her.  At this point E stated that I had reached the max of her services, and it was time for me to put our sessions into practice, and she would call me in May (this after B had seen her all of FOUR TIMES).

While doing our homework and reading every book we were recommended by the OT, we were also weighing our options at this point (borrow more money for therapy or continue to wait for publicly funded OT program). At this point we got a call from the publicly funded OT, stating we had an appointment scheduled for that month (in January).  We decided to go with that, and informed N, the private Occupational Therapist of that choice.  Within a week of our coming appointment, the public OT service called to state that our assigned OT was no longer available to provide services to us, and we would have to wait until at least March for service.  More waiting.

  We FINALLY received our initial assessment last Thursday, March 14.  B is now 4.5 years old.  The OT that conducted the assessment was D - very wonderful woman, who B instantly bonded with.  She conducted her assessment, offered some basic suggestions about making us a visual schedule for B to learn to follow, and offering to make the recommendation that B be followed by a pediatrician, but warned us that B was getting to the top end of the age in which they provide Occupational Therapy, since their restructuring (while we were waiting for our rescheduled appointment).  That same evening, while we were away for the last weekend of March Break, we got a message on our phone stating that B did not qualify for Occupational therapy, due to her starting Senior Kindergarten in September (despite the program's mandate up to this point of early intervention to age SIX, and her only being 4.5 at this point).  When I called D on our return from our weekend, we discussed the situation, and she agreed that B would definitely benefit from Occupational therapy, and the only reason that she did not qualify was her entering Senior kindergarten in September, and the further waiting list that she would have to be on to receive OT would put her past their cut-off period of June.  We at this point signed up for their 2 day USWAY seminar (Understanding the Sensory World Around You), in the hopes of getting some sort of support still, through D.  She agreed that the information provided would be information that we already knew, but we hoped to at least meet some other parents whose children were also affected by SPD, and maybe receive some support that way.  She also gave me her supervisor's phone number, M-E, and told me that I could talk to her for further assistance.  M-E reiterated that we did not meet their qualifications for receiving OT, because of her age, and then stated that she should have been referred for assessment back when she was 18 months old, and E the public health nurse, should have asked for the assessment/made the referral to Kidsability back 3 years previously.  She agreed that we were one of the families that unfortunately "fell through the cracks" in the system.

I talked to you, at the M.P.P. office, at this point, and asked for my M.P.P.s support in helping my 4.5 year old girl get the therapy she needs to function to her best ability.

I offered to send you some links to help you understand the disorder she was diagnosed with.  Here they are.

While all of this waiting and waiting and beaurocracy has gone on, my child, and my family, are still struggling.  Bis not getting the support/therapy she needs.  This is not right.  We as a family followed all of the right avenues, started as early in our childs' life as possible to receive the support she needs.  We are lucky to understand the system, and have tried to stay within it to the best of our ability.  Please help me make it right for my little girl.  

Thank you.

Friday, March 22, 2013

On Bullying.

if you have yet to see this video, you must.

Important lessons in life taught to me by my special children...

  • My schedule need not always apply.
  • Sometimes there's nothing more lovely than toes on a warm heating vent.
  • Just because I'm the adult, doesn't mean I always know better.
  • Feelings are subjective:  
    • Scary for me isn't the same as scary for you 
    • Loud for me isn't the same as loud for you
    • Bright for me isn't the same as bright for you
    • itchy for me isn't the same as itchy for you
    • hot for me isn't the same as hot for you.  
    • etc...etc...   
  • You are never too old, too sophisticated, too tired, or too busy to drop everything and dance to the music in your head.
  • Winter Garden - sticks, plastic bags, tape, and a 4 year old.
  •  Pyjama days are a necessity of life.
  •  Crafts do not need training, store bought supplies, or Pinterest - tape, scissors and a plastic shopping bag can make beauty.
  • Sometimes an hour of clean up is worth it for 15 minutes of exciting discovery and creativity
  • Cleaning the house is not as important as doing a puzzle.
  • Being a kid IS harder than being an adult - we were right!
  • Proper spelling is subjective - D4 works just as well as BEFORE , depending on how you pronounce it in the first place...
  • booboos are TRAGIC - but only if you can SEE them - Band-aids do make you feel better.
  • The only opinion that really matters is that of the cat.
  • You can have way more than ONE favourite ANYTHING.
  • Of COURSE birthdays mean parties!?!?!!
  • Spinning around in circles is a necessity of life.
  • There's no point in staying upset, or holding a grudge.
  • Stickers on the door frame do constitute beautiful interior design.     
  •  Sleep when you need it - not when it's scheduled.
  • Most learning doesn't happen in school, or by direction.
  • The box has WAY more potential than the toy inside.
  • Not everything you read in the parenting books applies to me.
  • Love is unconditional.
  • Everything I expected to be and do as an adult was wrong - But this reality is WAY WAY better. 

Thursday, March 21, 2013

the big gaping hole in the system.

So, you've heard people talking about the gaps in our medical and mental health systems.  (to be clear, I am in Ontario, Canada).  Well, I always assumed, that as a reasonably intelligent, educated, and well spoken individual, with a history in the field of social services and a knack for self-advocacy and knowing/preserving my rights, that *I* would NEVER fall through the cracksI guess I didn't realize at the time that the cracks we are speaking of here are more like a CANYON...

Now, I have made mention before, recently, that our youngest daughter has been "diagnosed" with Sensory Processing Disorder (SPD).  I put the word Diagnosed in quotations, because, despite the disorder being recognized, studied, and treated successfully in many people for some time now, it has yet to be recognized in standard medical manuals such as the ICD-10 or the DSM-IV-TR.   
Don't get me started on my conspiracy theories as to why this may be the case.  That, my friends, is a WHOLE other blog post....I guess I should restate that as "B has been identified as having issues with Sensory Integration, as well as issues with self-regulation...otherwise referred to as Sensory Processing Disorder.

Wikipedia describes SPD as "a hypothesized neurological disorder, in which sensory information may be sensed and perceived in a way that is different from most other people. Unlike blindness or deafness, sensory information can be received by people with SPD, the difference is that information is often registered, interpreted and processed differently by the brain. The result can be unusual ways of responding or behaving, finding things harder to do. Difficulties may typically present as difficulties planning and organizing, problems with doing the activities of everyday life (self care, work and leisure activities), and for some with extreme sensitivity, sensory input may result in extreme avoidance of activities, agitation, distress, fear or confusion". 

That is the mildest description of my little girl that I've ever considered.  Conversely, going over to provides a frighteningly accurate account of little B's everyday existence, in words and descriptions that are so accurate they make my skin crawl:

"Imagine if:   
  • You could see obstacles in your way, but you could not make your body move the direction you wanted it to to avoid them.
  • You felt like someone had given you a shot of Novocain in your backside so you couldn't feel if you were sitting in the middle of your chair and you fell off 3 times during this training.
  • Your clothes felt like they were made of fiberglass.
  • You tried to drink a cup of water from a paper cup, only you couldn't tell how hard to squeeze it to hold onto it. So, you squeezed it too hard and the water spilled all over you. The next time you didn't squeeze it hard enough and it fell right through your hands and onto the floor.
  • Every time you tried to write with your pencil, it broke because you pushed too hard.
  • The different smells in this room made you utterly nauseous.
  • The humming of the lights sounded louder than my voice.
  • You couldn't focus your eyes on me because everything and everyone in the room catches your attention and your eyes just go there instead.
  • The lights are so bright you have to squint, then you get a pounding headache half way through the presentation
  • Every time someone touches you, it feels like they are rubbing sandpaper on your skin.
  • You could only sit here for 15 minutes and then you had to take a run around the building or do 20 jumping jacks so you could sit for another 10 minutes before your muscles felt like they were going to jump out of your skin.
  • People's whispers sounded like they were yelling.
  • The tag in the back of your shirt makes you feel as uncomfortable as you would if a spider was crawling on you and you couldn't get him off.
  • You wanted to write something down but it took you at least 5 seconds to form each letter. You can see the letter in your head, but your hand will not go in the right direction to write it.
  • You had to pull the car over 3 times on the ride here because the motion makes you sick.
  •              These examples may sound extreme but for some with sensory processing disorders they are not."

    That's my girl.  To a Tee.  Add "You need to ram your whole body against your mom as hard as you can repeatedly in order to feel her presence against you" and "You place your belly against a scalding space heater and create a grid-shaped burn that lasts a week and a half because your brain didn't tell your body that that should hurt", and that about sums her up.  Oh I could go on for days with examples...4.5 years of new examples every day!  Some that make us cringe, some that make us cry, some that make us explode with laughter, pride, love...Some that make us scared...Every day is an adventure to this family...I used to like adventure....grin.

    Anyhow, my rant about the system...The lack of support and treatment for B has been maddening.  In fact it has been so painfully lacking, that I recently called and wrote a letter to my M.P.P..  (I will post a copy of this letter, minus identifying names, etc, as my next post, as this one will then be too long)  Because after 3 solid years of trying to use the system here in the way it was intended, in order to get support and treatment for my little munchkin, I finally got to the people who could actually set me up with the Occupational Therapy she definitely needs, those folks agreed that this is what she needs, and then told me that she, GET THIS, does NOT qualify for O.T. sessions because she is TOO OLD - and will age out of their program without ever getting the support she needs.

    Well, I did not take too kindly to this.  And, as mentioned before, I'm accustomed to advocating for my own rights.  Born Jewish in an era where overt racism was on a decline, but still an issue, a lesbian in an era where even I made horrid "lezzie" jokes as a kid, dismissed or actively looked over for promotions from career paths and even rental housing because of my forthrightness about my sexual identity, "married" my same sex spouse 2 years before it became legal to do so in this Province, and many other fights I have been willing to participate, our plight is not to go un-challenged this time.  Not when it is the most important fight of my life.  You WATCH.  This protective parent won't let her baby go with less than everything she needs to succeed in life.  See what happens if you try to hold her or I back.

    Sunday, March 17, 2013

    The *ahem* ART of being messy

    I love my central vacuum.  I mean, really LOVE it, in a protective, take-it-away-and-face-the-wrath-of-J sorta can't-function-without-it kinda way.  We use that thing for every possible clean up activity.  Rice on the table and floor from messy kids at dinner?  Vacuum.  Ground coffee spilled around coffee pot in early-morning delirium?  Vacuum.  Kid gets popcorn crumbs all over self and in shirt?  Yup.  Vacuum.  we even do our precursory dusting (on the occasion that the dusting actually gets done, i.e. we're having company) with the brushy-little-attachment-thingy on our vacuum.  Post baking flour mess, cat kibbles and bits of playdough, gunge between the couch cushions, VACUUMThat thing comes out 2 to 3 times per day.  I'm not even exaggerating.
    When the girls were little, we even adored our baby-vac nasal aspirator.  For those that don't know it, it is a pressure-regulated tube that successfully sucks the boogers out of your child's schnozz by attaching it to the hose of your VACUUM.  I swear I saved B from imminent choking to death on milky spit up with that thing on more than one occasion in her infant year...  If I thought I could convince my partner, we'd probably own one of those Flowbee things...okay, that may just be pushing it a bit.  Can you believe that thing still exists?  I remember laughing at the late night infomercials with friends at a sleepover when I was a kid.
    gooey playdough ingredients before cooking
    Why do I love my vacuum so much?  My house gets messy.  And we're not talking the usual 6 to 9 crumbs on the floor from dinner, a bit of road salt from shoes at the front door and cat hair on the rug sorta messy.  We're TOTALLY talking about the mommy-lets-the-kids-play-in-2 lbs-of-flour-and-dried-lentils at the kitchen table, makes magic mud every few weeks, 4 year old still eats with her hands regularly, crafts up the yin-yang, home-made playdough crumbs, and the kids get to feed the cats their kibble (all over the floor, rarely all in the bowl) sorta messy.  Oh, and my youngest hardly EVER wears shoes or socks, indoors or out in the sandbox/garden soil/dried leaves/SNOW, we like to eat messy foods over the living room rug, and the small one likes to tear pieces of bread to smithereens, or crumble crackers to pieces...finger paints, finger foods, dried leaves, catnip, cat hair from 3 cats, sawdust from the disastrous -garage-workshop, raw wool and sheepskin hole-punches, bits of thread, wool sweater, yarn and fabric from my craft room, diligently dragged through the house by wool socks and cat feet...

    sensory bin play - flour/dried noodles and beans/lentils

    I always apologize for my messy house to everyone that enters.  I'm not sure why...Maybe it is because of the archaic voice in the back of my head that tells me that I should be keeping this place clean as the "stay at home mom"....but I look at the piles of craft supplies, kids' drawings, school projects, junk mail, bills, kids' magazines, etc... that adorn the side counter of my kitchen, mingled with the beloved blender, microwave, toaster oven, bowl o' fruits....unwashed dishes, mason jars or lids from mason house isn't scuzzy-dirty, just "lived in".  *realllllly lived in.  But really.  given the opportunity to wash a dish versus play in magic mud, what would YOU choose?!  

    the tidiest fingerpainting she's ever done.. thanks pinterest!
    B, about 6 or 8 months ago, told me that I wasn't an adult...that I was a "Kidult"!  Remember, this child wasn't quite 4 years old at the time.  I cling to that title like a badge, let me tell you!  And how does a kidult spend her day as a stay at home mom?  Especially when there's a 4.5 year old to play with?  Well, occasionally I take a break from playing hi-ho Cherry-o, UNO, or painting pictures to do some real life "mommy jobs" as I call them...I do some of the real work...but compared to what I imagine other moms who stay at home are capable of, I often feel like I am falling flat. 

    I comfort myself by using the mantra that my super mom-in-law taught me.  "This is a living house - it is for living in".  I take that to mean that we are allowed to get messy here.  it isn't a museum. 

    And if I want to make magic mud and vacuum up the remains, more power to me.

    Friday, March 8, 2013

    The Adventurous Post of Someone Trying to Make her Posts Sound Adventurous......groan.....

    I love blogs.  I love the idea of blogs, the catharsis of blogs, the frank, tell-all-and-screw-those-that-can't-enjoy-it basic tenacity of a post that survives past when you felt the urge to put all that sh*t down on e-paper to begin with....

    Almost every post I read is fascinating!  In What the pooh Dude?, Heather makes her neuroses over vacuuming lines funny and interesting.  In Herding Cats, her one son's lack of desire to wear a winter coat draws me in.  Maybe it is the regular day-to-dayness of it all?  That little bit of community parenting lost as both (when there are two) parents started working full time, leaving the minority of us who stay home with our children alone to figure things out....The stories lost when us kids move away from our parents, or our parents pass, or simply the generation gap prevents our parents from sharing those little words of wisdom in a way that draws us in as eloquently as someone's edited or not-so-edited blog post.

    I mean, don't get me wrong.  There's lots of stuff I wouldn't want to learn from my parents that I can read on a blog.  How partner gave partner the best orgasm of her life?  NOT wanting to hear that from my mom.  As liberal and open and honest as we are with each other?  NO.  There's a line.  Not to mention nightmares......shudder....

    As a by-product of reading excellently written blog posts (We own Heather's three children's books, and quite enjoy them, and I know that Phoebe is an aspiring author as well), as well as being an avid Facebook addict for more  years than I care to admit, I often see the Product of my day in terms of Facebook status updates, or Great Titles For My Next Blog Post..It's kind of like living in your very own sit-com:  Cleaning up the ketchup squirted all over the floor by your four year old, thinking up titles like "Crime Scene Cleanup - memoirs of a mom-on-the-battlefield"  or "I thought this experimental-behaviour stuff was supposed to be done by now?" (Okay, I admit.. the first was better).  It helps relieve tension, adds a bit of humour to the situation, and puts things in perspective.  It's just Ketchup, damnit!
    the mohawk...grown out

    Recent ideas for blog posts that have yet to come to fruition:

    "I started with a mohawk, and now 60 year old women compliment my hair in public...."

    "Damnit I hate doing dishes...why do my kids have to eat so much?!"

    "Living with a newly-diagnosed child with Sensory Processing Disorder"

    "How the HE&& will I ever have sex again?!  My 4 and 8 year olds still don't sleep through the night!?!!"

    "Consumerism, intentional Wastefulness, and my disgust with my job"

    and one that was suggested to me (as a friend suggests I seem to have the answer for everything):

    "A list of life Hacks and simple solutions gleaned from everyday living, and an addiction to Google"

    Ideas.  I'm full of them.  And when I run out, there's always Pinterest!  And of course Google.

    When it comes to writing them down?  I'm a work in progress. 
    the style loved by Italian grandmothers

    that aughta hold me for a while....dye in progress.

    Meanwhile?  I'm dyeing my elongated mohawk bright pink.  That aughta stop the 60 year old women from complimenting me for a while.....  ;)