the perfect parent.

I read a lot. 

Not the historical fiction or murder mystery or teenage angst books of my B.C. era (Before Children), and definitely not as much or in the same way as I used to, picking up a novel and starting at the beginning and getting to the end within a day or two, but I still push my eyes across written words and try to make sense of the black and white. More than I probably should sometimes.

 These days my focus is most often Parenting blogs, Pinterest, Facebook Links, Tweets, parenting books, books on How To Be Perfect (Or Close Enough) At Everything I Do.  I've learned that I will never be *that* parent.  The parent who neatly packages each organic-raw-vegan-cut-out-to-look-like-animal-shapes-perfect lunch in non-toxic, sustainable, sourced locally or fair trade containers, the parent who has instilled the importance of charity so strongly in their child that instead of birthday presents the child wants their friends to donate funds to the "Unfortunate-Felines-With-Post-Traumatic-Stress-Disorder-From-Witnessing-Natural-Disasters-in-Third-World-Countries-Association".  I will not be the parent who NEVER yells at their children, though I do an admirable job 88% of the time, who never snaps without really listening, who is content to co-sleep until their child is 13 and can finally sleep through the night unaided.  I will not be taking my children traveling this summer to witness first hand how people in different countries live and make a living, cook their food, treat their pets...We won't be visiting Seniors Homes and volunteering our time socializing and interacting with the unfortunate seniors without visiting families of their own.  I will not have all the answers, nor will I even know all of the right probing questions to ask at all the right pivotal times...

Nor will I spend my afternoons and evenings shuttling my 2 children between piano or violin lessons, swimming lessons, riding lessons, baseball, soccer, gymnastics, education-enrichment tutoring, and tap dancing class.  My kids will not be spending their summer in a super-cool, mind-expanding, drama/sport/equine summer camp.  We will not be planning any over-the-top perfect themed garden parties with little white-bread finger sandwiches and lemonade, we will not be going on a Disney Cruise, tending our backyard free-range pet chickens (even though I reallllllly want some)....I will not be running a  waldorf-style-homeschool-based neighbourhood-kid enrichment program teaching everyone to Crochet, Knit, and Needlefelt with all-natural materials...

I will stress about my mistakes, about having chosen to vaccinate my babies, being on medication while pregnant, not having been able to breastfeed, I will feel guilty about yelling, or spending a few minutes on the computer instead of focusing 100% of my attention on my children and my household...giving them one more opportunity to form perfect memories of their perfect relationship with their perfect parents....

What we will have?  I can't say for certain in the long term, but this summer?  Walks to the park, pushes on the swing, a shoulder to support them as they attempt the monkey bars again... magic mud a la Dr. Zed... baking soda and vinegar volcanoes...Big cauldrons

of potions of rain-barrel water and anything found in the back yard, stirred with sticks and pronounced "magic" with incantations never replicable....Entire days of no structure, where the kids (poor deprived children) will have to learn how to entertain themselves with a houseful of toys, bikes, scooters, a backyard playground and trampoline...also using said toys, bikes, scooters, backyard playground and trampoline together as a family.

There will be camping with extended family, crazy long car rides, multiple games of eye spy, alphabet hunt, find a red car, find the nearest bathroom NOW!!, canoe rides, hikes in the woods, campfires, campfire songs, roasted marshmallows and smores, bike rides on dirt roads, looking for wildlife, wild blueberries and fireflies, using outhouses and not bathing for a week.  Attempts at fishing, daisy chain making, and staying up as late as possible.


 We will have puzzles and board games, kites, and our vegetable garden....eating strawberries and raspberries, apples, chives and chocolate mint right out of our yard, we will go strawberry picking, apple picking, and possibly blueberry picking again... Farmers' Market, and hopefully the Zoo....Many Many Many colouring pages, scissor crafts, sidewalk chalk and poster paint art....will go through many rolls of scotch and painters' tape, reams of paper, and bags of flour for playdough and dishsoap and water for blowing bubbles...

Discussions about heredity, mortality, immortality, puberty (eek!!), financial management, the basics of friendships, the intricacies of friendships, love, disappointment, responsibility, homework, magic, fairies, Harry Potter, our past, our future, evolution, religion, tradition, family, ability, transition, development, aerodynamics, ecology, herbology, biology, chemistry......


Shopping at the Mall, or more likely Value Village, books read, stories invented, plays and musical performances put on by two or more over-excited and under-practiced children, videos and photos taken, trips to restaurants, pizza dinners in front of a movie, running in the rain or under the sprinkler or getting wet in the local wading pool or splash pad.... burned seats on sun-roasted playground slides, sand in between our toes and in our undies after a day at the park....hide and seek, and that weird game "Grounders" that was invented either outside the community I grew up in or after my time as a child....and I'm certain I will be conned into playing pretend with them at least once or twice - being little sister, big sister, baby, puppy, horsey, or even the bus, in an extended game of make-believe for as long as I can handle it...

We will be filthy and sun-soaked, sometimes grumpy, sometimes overtired, and sometimes bored....there will be arguments between friends and siblings, and even us adults, there will be issues at bedtime, issues with cleaning up, with impatience, the wrong meals, uncomfortable socks, or even just having to wear socks in the first place....

We will accidentally go too long without a snack and our kids will get "hangry" - so hungry that they're angry, according to both my good friends in Gravenhurst, and one of my favourite blogs, Herding Cats.  We will accidentally forget the organic-non-deet-insect-repellant, or not-so-all-natural sunscreen, and kick ourselves (metaphorically, I hope) as one of us whimpers through a day of sunburn or too many itchy insect bites...We will be late for playdates, forget to wish friends and family members (at least those not on facebook) a happy birthday; will be irritated with fruit flies buzzing around the kitchen counter because we ignored the dishes for one day too many...or with moths and mosquitos in the house because a door was left open AGAIN...We will be irrationally irritated by our children getting muddy right before going somewhere, singing off-key and high pitched, missing a turn-off on the highway, or having to stop on the road to go to the bathroom AGAIN, even though we asked 5 minutes before if anyone had to "go".  There will be rainy-day disappointment, my-friend-isn't-home-and-I-am-disapointed days, and days where we are too tired to entertain another game of make-believe with our children.

 In those times, those moments where we are cross, short tempered, frustrated, irritated, or down right angry and fed-up, in those times, it will be very easy to forget all of the positives.  All of the adventures of watching a snail's foot from underneath as it ripples across a pane of glass, the sheer joy of using the pressure of a garden hose to make a HUGE mud puddle to squish between our toes...

In those times I will feel the guilt of not being *THAT parent*.  That perfect air-brushed, edited, does everything right parent who schedules and plans and organizes and is never late for anything.  And hopefully in those moments I will remember this post, look at all of the things we will do, all of the things we are, and hopefully I will step back and realize, and truly believe, that as a parent,

I AM DAMNED GREAT.

first shameless plug in a LONG time....

SO...If you hadn't already figured it out, I craft for a living.  And by living, I mean I craft stuff cuz it's awesome fun, try to sell it, and hope to make money enough to justify the crazy stash of yarn and other materials that I keep feeding into the craft room......and maybe buy groceries here and there.....

Oh.... and now I use this money to support B's therapeutic needs...purchasing supplies for therapies, etc...

I've noticed recently a distinct lack of purchasing happening on my etsy site.  This probably has a lot to do with a distinct lack of me posting new items to my etsy site....It's not that I'm not creating, in fact I've made more new products this last few months than I have in my entire "career" as a WAHM (work at home mom for those not in the know)...

The truth is, I HATE doing the photography, editing, and posting of new items on my page.  I'd LOVE to find a way to magically make this stuff happen without me.  Maybe find someone willing to work for banana bread and cookies?  Maybe advertising trade, or even products?  I'd be so thrilled with that!  But for now, I'll just show you some not-so-great pics taken with my phone...if i can figure out how to do that....grin.

Let me know what you think, okay?

made these for a chicken lover's X-mas tree...

little knitted mice - also a special request!

This special dolly traveled to New Jersey a few weeks back.

huge 55" play silks dyed with food dyes...as well as ribbons of silk for ribbon sticks...

a personalized baby blanket....

I have made a ton of different journal covers..

 

 

These beautiful Waldorf dollies are still looking for their

forever homes...

As you can see, I've been busy.  And there're so many more.  These girls all have shoes now, by the way....
If you were interested in adopting one of these special girls, or any other product listed here, or that strikes your fancy that you think I can pull off for you, you can contact me via email or facebook - I've set the images to open up an email to me.. Adoption fee is $199, plus shipping.  (oh, and if you think you can barter your skills as a web page developer, or photographer, you can contact me that way too).

On top of the sewing and dyeing and crocheting I've done for my shop, I've also been at the Guelph Farmer's Market - If you're anywhere near, come find me on Saturday Mornings, 7am - 12pm, at our new location for the summer - Exhibition Arena.  We'll be there until the renovations are complete on the original marketplace.  Shuttles are available for free from our original market location.

I am SO VERY EXCITED to also have been accepted as a vendor at Guelph's own Hillside Music Festival!!  I'm trying like mad to produce enough to fill a 10 x 10 booth for a whole weekend of wonder - this will be Hillside's 30th anniversary - and promises to be another fantastic year.  Check out the link for more information - I think there are a few individual day tickets left!  My girls are excited to be attending again this year, and super excited that we get to camp right behind my booth!

This has been my first post in a long time.  I'm hoping to get back on regular posting again.. I've been pretty busy producing.  Oh, and watching Netflix....It's amazing how much better the US Netflix is..So glad I finally figured out how to make that happen on my Canadian laptop and wii......Grin.

Magic Mud. Thank-You, Dr. Zed.

 Do any of the rest of you remember Dr. Zed, and his experiments from Owl magazine?  I used to get those Scholastic Book Orders every month, for books I could buy, and help our school earn a few books as resources...Those Scholastics still come home with the kids, and Owl, and it's younger sibling Chickadee are still out there, but I haven't seen good ol' Dr. Zed in a long while...so of course, I went to the one place I KNEW I'd get some answers.  I googled it.  Not much was out there, because apparently, he has since retired from magazine fame....I did find a good pic of him in the Owl Magazine archives...

He had his own books too - I had, and still have, Dr. Zed's Dazzling Book of Science Activities.  It's out of print, these days. The ONE reason I wanted this book, the ONLY reason I wanted this book, so badly that I begged for DAYS to get it from the Scholastic orders, was the hope that it would have the recipe for the amazing and magical concoction known as Magic Mud.  Now, this was in the days pre- Pinterest, and Google, remember.  Even before the remarkable Interweb....

Much to my chagrin, it did not have the recipe, and for years after, I wondered how to make the magical stuff.  

As an adult now, I want to spare my children the misery and longing of never experiencing magic mud.  So, I have used the web, and all of the resources available to us in this amazing 21st century, and when kid #1 was old enough not to eat the stuff, she was introduced to magic mud!

Having a child with sensory issues (namely kid #2) has made experimenting with stuff like this all the more important and useful as a day-to-day tool for keeping mommy sane" as well as giving her some well needed tactile stimulation.  I'm going to share the recipe here with you now, with photos of our day yesterday, enjoying ourselves with it.

*Note - half of the enjoyment of magic mud is the MAKING of it.  If you are doing this with your kiddo, please let them help.  It will mean the world to them, and it will make it all the more a fun experience!  This WILL make a mess, be prepared for it.  But it is actually SUPER easy to clean up - it is very water soluble, and when dry vacuums up super easy.

You will need:  one large bowl or deep tray, one box of cornstarch, tap water, and some sort of colouring.  I've used Wilton cake dye, mixed into the water before adding it to the cornstarch.  Any food dye, or even juice would probably work.  Here`s B opening up the box of cornstarch.  She needed help ripping open the waxy-paper baggie inside.

 

 Step 1:  Dump cornstarch into bowl.  B is taking this very seriously.  To her, this needs to be as exact as when we are baking.  She doesn't realize that there's not really a way to do this wrong!

 

 Step 2:  B is mixing the Wilton icing dye that I put in the water.  I was smart enough not to let her put the coloured paste in herself, because I know it would have been a disaster.  That stuff stains before it is diluted, and B's self-control is, shall we say, lacking.  If you are using juice, or even regular food dye drops, your kiddo could probably enjoy adding it themselves....

 

Step 3:  Pour the coloured liquid into the cornstarch.  I used about 2.5 cups for the box of cornstarch, this is a 1 cup measuring cup in the picture, we refilled it.  Have towels on hand if you or your young one's aim or self control is questionable. 

 

Step 4:  Get messy!  Hands in, mix it up and play!  You will get the coolest textured goop ever.  Half liquid, half solid, both at the same time, neither...mix,  play, have FUN.  And not just your kiddo.  Get your own hands in there.  Even if you hate messy hands.  It's therapeutic.  Cathartic.

 

Pick up solid fistful of goo

Open fist - solid dryish mass turns to ooze

 The solid-liquid gooeyness of being able to pick up a solid "chunk" of the stuff, and then letting it ooze all liquidy back into the bowl is unbeatable.  Trust me.  

At this point I learned a new trick.  Put a towel under your play area.  The rationale is two-fold.  One, it makes the clean-up WAY easier.  Take towel out to yard and shake.  Wash towel.  

Two, we discovered that magic mud makes great mud pies on the towel, as the liquid is absorbed into the towel....and neat little dry-ish mud balls too.  More water was added after to the bowl to re-moisten the mud.

It is also fun to add toys - any plastic ones that can be easily rinsed off - this stuff doesn't stick permanently.  It rinses easily and cleanly away. 

This activity easily falls into my acceptable indoor project ratio of:

[Fun time]=/>[prep time]+[clean time]

where =/> means equal or greater to.

 

Have fun!

The *ahem* ART of being messy

I love my central vacuum.  I mean, really LOVE it, in a protective, take-it-away-and-face-the-wrath-of-J sorta can't-function-without-it kinda way.  We use that thing for every possible clean up activity.  Rice on the table and floor from messy kids at dinner?  Vacuum.  Ground coffee spilled around coffee pot in early-morning delirium?  Vacuum.  Kid gets popcorn crumbs all over self and in shirt?  Yup.  Vacuum.  we even do our precursory dusting (on the occasion that the dusting actually gets done, i.e. we're having company) with the brushy-little-attachment-thingy on our vacuum.  Post baking flour mess, cat kibbles and bits of playdough, gunge between the couch cushions, VACUUM.  That thing comes out 2 to 3 times per day.  I'm not even exaggerating.

When the girls were little, we even adored our baby-vac nasal aspirator.  For those that don't know it, it is a pressure-regulated tube that successfully sucks the boogers out of your child's schnozz by attaching it to the hose of your VACUUM.  I swear I saved B from imminent choking to death on milky spit up with that thing on more than one occasion in her infant year...  If I thought I could convince my partner, we'd probably own one of those Flowbee things...okay, that may just be pushing it a bit.  Can you believe that thing still exists?  I remember laughing at the late night infomercials with friends at a sleepover when I was a kid.

gooey playdough ingredients before cooking

Why do I love my vacuum so much?  My house gets messy.  And we're not talking the usual 6 to 9 crumbs on the floor from dinner, a bit of road salt from shoes at the front door and cat hair on the rug sorta messy.  We're TOTALLY talking about the mommy-lets-the-kids-play-in-2 lbs-of-flour-and-dried-lentils at the kitchen table, makes magic mud every few weeks, 4 year old still eats with her hands regularly, crafts up the yin-yang, home-made playdough crumbs, and the kids get to feed the cats their kibble (all over the floor, rarely all in the bowl) sorta messy.  Oh, and my youngest hardly EVER wears shoes or socks, indoors or out in the sandbox/garden soil/dried leaves/SNOW, we like to eat messy foods over the living room rug, and the small one likes to tear pieces of bread to smithereens, or crumble crackers to pieces...finger paints, finger foods, dried leaves, catnip, cat hair from 3 cats, sawdust from the disastrous -garage-workshop, raw wool and sheepskin hole-punches, bits of thread, wool sweater, yarn and fabric from my craft room, diligently dragged through the house by wool socks and cat feet...

sensory bin play - flour/dried noodles and beans/lentils

I always apologize for my messy house to everyone that enters.  I'm not sure why...Maybe it is because of the archaic voice in the back of my head that tells me that I should be keeping this place clean as the "stay at home mom"....but I look at the piles of craft supplies, kids' drawings, school projects, junk mail, bills, kids' magazines, etc... that adorn the side counter of my kitchen, mingled with the beloved blender, microwave, toaster oven, bowl o' fruits....unwashed dishes, mason jars or lids from mason jars...my house isn't scuzzy-dirty, just "lived in".  *realllllly lived in.  But really.  given the opportunity to wash a dish versus play in magic mud, what would YOU choose?!  

the tidiest fingerpainting she's ever done.. thanks pinterest!

B, about 6 or 8 months ago, told me that I wasn't an adult...that I was a "Kidult"!  Remember, this child wasn't quite 4 years old at the time.  I cling to that title like a badge, let me tell you!  And how does a kidult spend her day as a stay at home mom?  Especially when there's a 4.5 year old to play with?  Well, occasionally I take a break from playing hi-ho Cherry-o, UNO, or painting pictures to do some real life "mommy jobs" as I call them...I do some of the real work...but compared to what I imagine other moms who stay at home are capable of, I often feel like I am falling flat. 

I comfort myself by using the mantra that my super mom-in-law taught me.  "This is a living house - it is for living in".  I take that to mean that we are allowed to get messy here.  it isn't a museum. 

And if I want to make magic mud and vacuum up the remains, more power to me.

CRAZINESS - how time flies.

The girls,now.  B on the left, 4, D on the right, 8.

isn't it INSANE that you blink and years go by?  I mean, last time I posted here was 2011.  TWO THOUSAND AND ELEVEN!!!  It's not that I haven't planned on posting.. I have the blogger app, lots of good photos of activities, menu choices, new kitten, creative spells...I even regularly compose blog posts in my head!  Like about our now one year old new kitten-boy...the only y-chromosome in our household...and how he's grown up since 6 weeks old here thinking that  he's a human child.  He even goes outside and plays with the girls - IN THE SNOW - every time they're out there!  He's even learned how to jump on the enclosed trampoline in the backyard.  No, I'm not kidding.  I'll take a video this summer and show you.

Mokey, before he became a giant

Speaking of snow - has anyone else spent time appreciating the beauty that is wet snow stuck to all of the tree branches the last few days?

As I'm typing this, I'm realizing why I haven't written in a while.  KIDS.  How is it that every time I sit down to do this, there's a kid who needs something?  I mean...they're 4 and 8....can't they do ANYTHING for 10 minutes on their own?

Oh yeah.  it's been that long.  i have 2 school-aged kids.  Okay, one and a half.  B is still part time, in Junior Kindergarten.  Which is why today, as I'm actually trying to successfully type out a blog post for the first time in beep knows how long, B is interrupting every 3 minutes.. which leads to this disjointed, multiple-topic rambling of ideas... right now I'm the "babysitter" of baby stella (the doll) as B goes "shopping".  it was the only way to have her think I'm playing with her while I get anything done!

Mokey the cat making a snowman with D

pdate on B - (said in a slightly more serious tone).  Over the last two years we have noticed that she acts a little, shall we say, "differently" than other kids.  Very reactive and physical, often without any recognizable "cause and effect", speech issues, EXTREME clinginess (like, she had to quit gymnastics when she was over a year older than the oldest kid in the mom and tot group because she couldn't function without me beside her)..Inability to focus on any one thing for more than a minute or two, inability to retain information (more extreme than the average.  example - eats mouthful of dirt.  hates it.  cries.  gets cleaned up.  goes outside.  eats mouthful of dirt.  repeat.)  Well, after countless specialist appointments, work groups, and finally an UBER expensive trip to a private occupational therapist, we have a tentative diagnosis - Sensory Processing Disorder.  and MAN, is it an accurate description...I won't go into too many details, follow the link if you're curious.  Basically, her brain doesn't connect properly to her 7 senses (I know, we were only taught 5 at school...but there are 7).  As a result she needs to overstimulate or shut down, depending on what her brain can handle at any given time.  For example, most kids are satisfied with the comfort of a hug from mom.  Some days B doesn't "feel" the hug enough.  As a result, she will BASH into me full force, just to get that feeling of a hug.  it stinks.  it hurts.  it causes bruises.  but all she wants is the comfort of a hug.....OTHER days however, she'll put on her socks, and her touch sense will be SO sensitive that the sock feels like it's crushing her, the seam literally hurts her toes.  she screams and throws the sock, and sinks into "I'm never wearing socks again!!!!!!"   And we never know what is what.  And this isn't just for touch.  Some moments it is volume, temperature, the feeling of gravity, sometimes even thoughts in her own head overwhelm her.  Let's just say it is a learning process.

D the day after her 8th Birthday.

B..her hair isn't brushed.  Shocking.

okay, enough seriousness. We've had birthdays, Christmases, Chanukahs, beginnings, and endings since I wrote last.  I will write more.  AND find time to finish my new website (COMING SOON-ish), and find time to make more product for BaBaZOoBEe! and find students to learn crochet.  Yes, I got my certification from the Craft Yarn Council of America (who knew THAT existed?!!) and am a qualified crochet instructor now.  If you're in Southern Ontario, check out THAT Facebook page!  And go to "parenting-kids-with-issues" class.  And work at the big box craft store at the end of the street (been there over a year now.  VERY part time).  And take B to more OT appointments.  And interact with my children.  And be a parent/housewife.  And succeed at this diet.  THIS time.  (by the way, the my fitness pal app for android ROCKS)  And excercise more.  And maybe, just maybe, go on a date with my wife.  Even end up in bed at the same time for once.

A bientot!

watchin' B be like me

Violet

i've finally finished her.  My fave of all waldorf style dolls that i've made thus far.  I finished putting the elastic in her shes today while little B "helped"... okay, she repeatedly poked one of the shoes with a spare crochet hook, but it was helping in her mind.. you could tell.  It was UNBELIEVABLY sweet.   Maybe because I don't remember doing any of this stuff as a kid, maybe because I just think my kids are the cutest, dunno, but MAN I love how much they love doing this stuff...

Anyhow, this little girl will be available at Babazoobee sometime VERY soon.  Like days.  or hours.  who knows.  hehe

okay... off to play super mario wii with C.    what a splurge.  he he.  only fair to spend time with her tonight, considering i'm ditching her and the kids all day tomorrow to knit at the Out On the Shelf Knit-a-Thon.....  gonna make me a pair of slippers for choir rehearsals.  Yup.  I sing.  Soprano.  In the Rainbow Chorus of waterloo-wellington region.  

Okay, back from Wii.  that was fun!  Mario is the reason I like nintendo.  Though I really wish the game Little Big Planet was available on Nintendo.  First thing Sony's gotten right in a long time as far as I'm concerned.

D went iceskating today with C...for the first time in 4 years of skating she successfully skated without holding onto her mama or a skating aid!!!!  i'm so proud of her.  I don't skate.  I know, bad Canuck, but hey....

Okay, here's where I need some feedback.  I name the dolls I make after flowers... I need a list of nice flower names.  For boys or girls.  I also keep looking at the "monetize" feature on this blog...should I or shouldn't I let google advertise on this blog so I can make a few bucks to buy supplies?   Let me know....

okay, that was random enough...  hope u like her.  I think we'll probably call this one  Violet.  though I'm fond of Poppy or Viola too....

have a great nite folks.