Friday, February 21, 2014

grateful for lip reading....

I took the big one to her gymnastics class last week.  I'd like to say that I do that every week, but more often than not C does it, or more recently, we have taken turns.  We both love to see Big doing her thing in the gym, but really, what it boils down to is 45 parents trying to cram into a viewing area made for like, 20, seeing out of a window that can realistically handle 10 averaged sized adults staring out of it.  And all of that crowding and vying for space for maybe 15 minutes of being able to actually see Big in the Gym, before she moves to an area obscured by other pieces of gym equipment or gymnasts....Add that to getting your socked feet soaked and salted by the bootprints of the parents who disregard the "wet boots off at the door" and wander around dripping slush everywhere.....well, let's just say it isn't our favourite activity as parents, even if it is hers.....

But I digress....

Enter the title of the post.  About the lipreading...

This past week at gymnastics Big and the other girls of her class went over to the bench under the viewing window to have a quick water break.  So I got to witness the 9-year-olds' version of "water cooler conversation".  From behind glass.  This is how it goes....

Gym-mate:  "where's your mom?"
Big:  "right there.." (points to me through the glass)
Gym-mate:  :"that's not your mom?!  Your mom looks different than that!" (speaking of my partner who had been to watch the last few classes)
Big:  "Oh....that's my other mom".
Gym-mate: "you have two moms?"
Big:  "yeah..."
Gym-mate: "do you have two dads too?"
Big:  "No?!?"
Gym-mate: "why do you have two moms?"
Big: "I dunno."
Gym-mate: "oh..."

....And off they went to continue with their handstands.
I could do a whole post on how the whole world should see things as simply as these two girls do:  It is what it is, and now I have the info, let's go play. 

Instead I'll tell you about the conversation she and I had afterwards...cuz it was fun.

While walking to the car after gymnastics:
Me:  "So your friend was confused about who I am, eh?"  (yes, I'm Canadian.  And yes, we say "eh".  Get over it.)
Big:  "how did you know?"
Me:  "I could see you talking through the window...I was curious, so I read your lips."(Trust me, at age 9 this isn't an invasion of privacy...she still shares everything happily......almost too much at times...)
Big:  "you can do that?  cool.  What did we say?"
I recounted the conversation to her....Needless to say, she was impressed.
Me:  "So, you don't know why you have two moms?"  "Well, I do, but not how to answer that question" "Do you get that question a lot?"  "Not really"

Then we conversed about ways to answer that question.  the "WHY?"  Question.  We talked about what she wanted to get out of answering the asker - if she wanted them to truly "get it", or just leave her alone, or realize that the question is stupid, or none of their business, or what.... Her answer?  All of the above.  Yes.  So we joked a bit, and came up with some really easy answers.  Even easy enough for a 9 year old:

Why do you have two moms?

The truthful, get some enlightenment into those kids answers:
  1. "Same reason you have a mom and a dad."
  2. "Because they love each other and wanted me."
  3. "Because I do."
  4. "Because that's how my family is made up."
 Then there are the smart-ass-yet-honest answers:
  1. "Why not?"
  2. "Because I'm just that awesome."
  3. "Because I'm lucky."
  4. "Because they're lucky."
  5. "Just because I do."
  6. "Cuz 2 moms are better than one!"
 And the "So-ridiculous-they'd-have-to-see-how-silly-their-question-is" answers - the ones that made us giggle the most in the car on the way home:
  1. "You Muggles just wouldn't understand."
  2. "Because Venus is in alignment with Mars."
  3. "Because the sky is blue and the grass is green."
  4. "To get people like you to start fascinating conversations."
Clearly, I'm screwing up my kids big time.  But only in the best and funniest ways possible.

Thursday, February 6, 2014

Blog post from a 5 year old..

I'm humouring my 5 year old and transcribing an interview/story with and by her. Therefore, you all must humour her too.

B: shmoogalooga boot boot, shmoogalooga doo.

that's my song.

I love the Jonah.

Me:  How do you feel about school?

B:  tired. I am tired at school.I love school. I love my teacher.

Me: what things do you do at school that you love?

B: just school!!!!play, recess, play eat. play play eat.

Me: how is that different than at home?

B: i don't know i don't know.  what did you write? did you write i don't know?  B says go to school.  and that is my song with mommy writing it, and thank you to all who is going to see it.  giggle.  Can you write another?

Me: I'm still writing...

B: why why says the B..why why says the B...  Because the Mokey is walking down the street today.  Just because you have fish doesn't mean that you can go outside.  Fish only go in water, they only go in water which they love for their whole lives.  Even though you can see pants walking down the street by themselves....giggle. giggle hysterically.

Me:  tell me a real story!

B:  hmmm.. 1 2 3 walking down the street.....(repeatedly)

Me: a real story that i would tell you at bedtime.

B: once apon a time there was a little girl whose name was snake, she loved to dance everywhere.  she danced at home, she danced on the street and she loved you.  she loved you forever. 
space space a couple of spaces in your head.  she loved you and her family everyday, as you can see.  Did you write that is the end?

Me:  No I didn't.

B: Why not?  Write it.  Because that is the end.
Are you still writing?  Is that the end?  can you write another?

Me:  yup.  still writing.  go ahead.

B: really?  okay, but i'm not because...i' you can send it....

Me: this isn't an email to send, it's a blog.  for whoever wants to read it.

B: I want to do a blog.  a real blog.

Me: that's what we're doing.

B: I want to write it and you tell me what to say.  I want to write it like I am going to write it.  But you tell me what to say.

Me: This part is actually kinda hard, trying to write down quickly everything you are saying...

B:  okay, we are done.  I put my [water] cup in the freezer because I am really hot and want it to be really cold but it isn't a glass cup it is a plastic cup and I want it to be really cold.....okay now we're done.  Good bye.  Except I want a picture of a cute kitten.

And the parents that go to work wonder why the parents that stay home have totally lost their marbles after a day home with a 5 year old........Just record this post and press repeat ALL DAY.  that should give you an idea of why my mental capacity has shrunk....and why I crave adult conversation, but am not exactly sure how to handle it anymore....