Friday, February 21, 2014

grateful for lip reading....

I took the big one to her gymnastics class last week.  I'd like to say that I do that every week, but more often than not C does it, or more recently, we have taken turns.  We both love to see Big doing her thing in the gym, but really, what it boils down to is 45 parents trying to cram into a viewing area made for like, 20, seeing out of a window that can realistically handle 10 averaged sized adults staring out of it.  And all of that crowding and vying for space for maybe 15 minutes of being able to actually see Big in the Gym, before she moves to an area obscured by other pieces of gym equipment or gymnasts....Add that to getting your socked feet soaked and salted by the bootprints of the parents who disregard the "wet boots off at the door" and wander around dripping slush everywhere.....well, let's just say it isn't our favourite activity as parents, even if it is hers.....

But I digress....

Enter the title of the post.  About the lipreading...

This past week at gymnastics Big and the other girls of her class went over to the bench under the viewing window to have a quick water break.  So I got to witness the 9-year-olds' version of "water cooler conversation".  From behind glass.  This is how it goes....

Gym-mate:  "where's your mom?"
Big:  "right there.." (points to me through the glass)
Gym-mate:  :"that's not your mom?!  Your mom looks different than that!" (speaking of my partner who had been to watch the last few classes)
Big:  "Oh....that's my other mom".
Gym-mate: "you have two moms?"
Big:  "yeah..."
Gym-mate: "do you have two dads too?"
Big:  "No?!?"
Gym-mate: "why do you have two moms?"
Big: "I dunno."
Gym-mate: "oh..."

....And off they went to continue with their handstands.
I could do a whole post on how the whole world should see things as simply as these two girls do:  It is what it is, and now I have the info, let's go play. 

Instead I'll tell you about the conversation she and I had afterwards...cuz it was fun.

While walking to the car after gymnastics:
Me:  "So your friend was confused about who I am, eh?"  (yes, I'm Canadian.  And yes, we say "eh".  Get over it.)
Big:  "how did you know?"
Me:  "I could see you talking through the window...I was curious, so I read your lips."(Trust me, at age 9 this isn't an invasion of privacy...she still shares everything happily......almost too much at times...)
Big:  "you can do that?  cool.  What did we say?"
I recounted the conversation to her....Needless to say, she was impressed.
Me:  "So, you don't know why you have two moms?"  "Well, I do, but not how to answer that question" "Do you get that question a lot?"  "Not really"

Then we conversed about ways to answer that question.  the "WHY?"  Question.  We talked about what she wanted to get out of answering the asker - if she wanted them to truly "get it", or just leave her alone, or realize that the question is stupid, or none of their business, or what.... Her answer?  All of the above.  Yes.  So we joked a bit, and came up with some really easy answers.  Even easy enough for a 9 year old:

Why do you have two moms?

The truthful, get some enlightenment into those kids answers:
  1. "Same reason you have a mom and a dad."
  2. "Because they love each other and wanted me."
  3. "Because I do."
  4. "Because that's how my family is made up."
 Then there are the smart-ass-yet-honest answers:
  1. "Why not?"
  2. "Because I'm just that awesome."
  3. "Because I'm lucky."
  4. "Because they're lucky."
  5. "Just because I do."
  6. "Cuz 2 moms are better than one!"
 And the "So-ridiculous-they'd-have-to-see-how-silly-their-question-is" answers - the ones that made us giggle the most in the car on the way home:
  1. "You Muggles just wouldn't understand."
  2. "Because Venus is in alignment with Mars."
  3. "Because the sky is blue and the grass is green."
  4. "To get people like you to start fascinating conversations."
Clearly, I'm screwing up my kids big time.  But only in the best and funniest ways possible.