Being a parent in this era is frighteningly different than when we were kids. I recently read an article about a Guelph family who is living a year like it's 1986. I never really thought about the differences before, except when I get a question from D or B like "what's a cassette player?" We now live in an era where "perfect" parenting ideals can be seen high and low, you can find infinite posts online about perfect school lunches, make-your-own crafts with kids, how to live free of television, how to use television to make smarter kids, how to spend more time with your kids, how not to yell at the kids, why not to vaccinate, why TO vaccinate, how to helicopter parent, how not to helicopter parent, how to spend more time outside, which baby groups to join, which books to read...Baby Einstein DVDs to make your kid smarter, Baby Einstein DVDs to make your kids dumber, teaching your baby Sign Language, internet safety, viruses that have nothing to do with human illness, how and why to eat less junk food, the junk they put in your supposed "healthy food", GMOs, Dead honeybees......Knowledge that we were blissfully ignorant of while eating our neon orange, high salt Kraft Dinner or Chef Boyardee for lunch when we were kids...
I was born in 1976. I lived happily without cell phones and blue tooth, data packages and Netflix, DVD players and MP3 players, I got my first CD player when I was 18! I lived without cordless nightlights and clocks that light up when it's "OK to wake!", the INTERNET, digital cameras, cameras on your phone, instant upload, online social media, recipes for EVERYTHING online, there was no "app for that"....vaccines for chicken pox and the FLU, ...I walked to school alone in Toronto in elementary school, and took the subway with friends...went to the theatre and bought my tickets in person, didn't check seating charts and order online.....I remember the controversy that was the beginning of Sunday Shopping, Debit Cards, I remember using the bank of pay telephones in the mall to check in with my mom, or call friends in private...I remember the disbelief that one could now send photos and forms and letters by TELEPHONE on this amazing invention called a FAX machine.. I remember the amazement when they allowed more than one phone line in the house, probably to offset those fax machines... or more than one phone number/ringtone for a single land line! I was also around before the era of telemarketers.... I was around for the invention of the expression "landline", as well as "text me", "friend me", LOL, OMG, BFF...
I remember when Avent baby bottles were the best on the market, so different than the others. I remember the controversy when Avent baby bottles were not taken OFF the market when it was discovered that they were laden with toxic BPA....I remember when no one wore their children in a sling, when snuggli was the only (albeit horrid) carrier around that people knew about...when strollers faced forward only, couldn't house your up-to-35lb child infant car seat, and didn't have interchangeable seats at all...I remember stainless steel and vinyl coated highchairs and booster seats, seats with fold out steps that made a satisfying "clang" when you played with the steps with your feet - no straps on those! I remember the doctor's house-call service when my fever was over 40C at midnight, getting cold medication before the age of 6, sitting in the front seat of the car, no child safety seat, or in my dad's LAP when he was driving, under the age of 5....
I remember the isolation when friends couldn't or wouldn't play, when no one was around to talk on the phone, or the line was busy, because that was the ONLY social outlet at home, no chat rooms, or online forums.... I remember feeling like a loser or a geek because I liked things that the kids in my micro-universe didn't, and there were no "it gets better" projects back then. I remember pretty stationary and pen-pals from another country, I remember singing highly inappropriate and racist kid-taunts and songs, not knowing their impact on the world, and remember being the butt of some of those remarks and songs...I remember singing "Free to be You and Me", and watching this gem on reel-to-reel and a projection screen in class:
I remember $2.00 Tuesdays at the movie theatre in the mall. The small one, with 2 choices, and no Dolby-digital surround sound. I remember when everything WASN'T produced in China, or other "less developed" countries where abuse and child labour were prevalent, as we are learning about in social media circles right now.....and a time before dollar stores.... I remember handing in hand written school assignments...double spaced, writing neatly to the right of the red line on our loose-leaf lined paper....and later the zip-zip screechy sound of the dot-matrix printer, and having to separate all of the perforated edges of the page guides.....I remember learning to properly touch-type with 10 fingers on a TYPEWRITER with no letters on the keys, either so we memorized them, or because they were so well-worn the letters were gone.....Changing the ink ribbon....spacing manually....going to the library to research school projects.... I even remember the Dewey-decimal system, and card-stock library tags
in the backs of the library books where you put your name and the due
date, rather than bar codes...stuffed animals and dolls that didn't come with their own websites, but were fun on their own...
I remember biking for hours, as far from home as I dared, on my own or with my friend...reading for hours when it was raining, Commander Tom's world when watching TV in the basement on Sunday Mornings while my parents slept...following the morning show schedule, WITH commercials, and not having a choice as to watch anything else...later playing cartridges or big black floppy discs on our Commodore 64...
Being allowed, at age 10 to invent cake recipes with my friend...and use the oven without supervision!
I remember when K-mart was the enemy, where no one wanted to admit to shop at because it was totally uncool, and before the invasion of Walmart and Target.....I remember fluorescent clothing the First time around, as well as Big hair and WAY too much makeup...Lip Smackers flavoured lip gloss...Plastic Hallowe'en costumes with plastic masks that were impossible to see through, and got all sweaty or broke before the end of trick-or-treating...
What will my kids remember? What will stick out for them as important? Exciting? New? Different? How will they value themselves and judge themselves in an era where every possible bit of information to compare themselves against is out there, in your pocket, on the computer, on digital bill-boards....when every child's private life, and every teens' love life is posted with photographs online...when library research is replaced with online research...when you can self-diagnose online without going to a doctor...
I'm scared for my children. There's so much more to navigate than when we were young. But I'm also excited for them....and their children....
" ..They'll learn much more...than I'll ever know..."
